Utilizing Social Media in Your Organization

January 2, 2009

by stacistringer
http://stacistringer.wordpress.com

As the social media landscape expands, more organizations are taking advantage of the online tools available. There are thousands, and they are expanding as we speak. Anything from fundraiser support sites, to picture and video sharing to niche social networks that can expand your reach as an organization. One tool that I find very helpful is go2web20.net. This site provides an overview and ratings of thousands of Web 2.0 sites.

By taking the time to assess the social landscape in which your organization wishes to immerse in, you can identify key opinion leaders, the audience, and important topics in the conversation. Through assessing the conversation happening in different forms of social media you have the ability to pick and choose the right forum to your conversation. You must be picky when finding the right forum. There is no use having a conversation with people who don’t want to listen.

There are a few ways to find out what social media tools would be right for your organization to utilize in creating a presence online:

1. Research where your organization stands in all forms of mediums look on Facebook for support groups, on YouTube for videos, on twitter for organizations, competitors and supporters.

2. Listen to the Conversation Now that you’ve found forums with which your organization could fit into the conversation. Listen. See what others are saying about your product or service and assess the tone. If there is a negative tone, begin to strategist on how you can make negatives into a positive.

3. Narrow the Field Social media takes time. Don’t be too ambitious because if you begin to have a presence in a specific network and then become lazy and cannot keep up with it, you lose listeners and the point of getting involved in the social media sphere was to gain followers. Take a look at the possible tools you can utilize and assess their relativity to your goal. Then narrow the field.

4. Participate the hardest thing organizations will find is keeping up with all the forms of social media that are at its fingertips. Just because you are a part of Facebook or twitter doesn’t mean you’re actively participating in it. Make the effort, comment on blogs and message boards, tweet and reply to tweets participate in the social media and show a new audience that you’re doing everything in your means to make them a believer in your product or service.

Photo courtesy of Brian Solis

MY BEEF WITH HIP-HOP BEEFS

I saw this on Twitter and was really impressed with the thought behind this article and the way it was articulated. I wanted to share it with my readers.

Monica

http://askbroderic.blogspot.com/2009/01/my-beef-with-hip-hop-beefs-by-deric.html
Thursday, January 1, 2009

By: Deric Muhammad

(This opinion editorial appeared in a recent edition of The Final Call Newspaper) http://www.finalcall.com/

Hip-hop culture has officially gotten its passport. In every foreign country I have traveled to, I have seen the influence of hip-hop on its youth. I have seen break dancing in Japan, oversized fitted-caps in China, gold-toothed “grills” in Belize and graffiti in Thailand. No matter where you go on this planet, hip-hop will follow you. Hip-hop’s global impact is so strong that the Orange Revolution in the Ukraine adopted a hip-hop national anthem in protest to mass corruption, voter intimidation and electoral fraud in the 2004 presidential election. When I saw millions of Ukrainians singing a hip-hop fight song as a sign of their revolution, I knew that a serious responsibility came along with that.

I was very disappointed to hear about the recent death of a London up-and-coming rap artist, Ikye Nmezu, who was beaten with a brick by a rival artist over a back-and-forth exchange of lyrics via YouTube. The victim, only 16 years old, was poorly treated by two hospitals and died two weeks later due to a brain abscess. One cannot help but speculate that these two young brothers were emulating what they see in American hip-hop culture, called BEEF. Just as hip-hop’s musical, cultural and fashionable influence has penetrated the borders of foreign countries, so has its shortcomings.

As a product of the hip-hop generation I, along with the rest of us, have enjoyed the competitive lyrical battles between rival artists. Competition fueled creativity and great music was made. When LL Cool J battled Kool Moe Dee, it was a watershed moment in hip-hop. Unfortunately rappers began to bring issues of a more personal nature into the art form. This type of beef helped create the East Coast vs. West Coast beef and the atmosphere that led to the deaths of Tupac and Biggie.

A historic meeting at The Honorable Minister Farrakhan’s home in Chicago squashed the East Coast vs. West Coast beef bringing artists from both coasts to a table of reconciliation. Artists started traveling bi-coastal again and things seemed to normalize. After a brief lull, hip hop beefs returned more commercialized than ever. New rap artist looking to become famous felt they needed to attack another rapper in order to make a name for themselves. Beef, now, has become a part of the promotional aspect of the business of hip-hop. It is supported by record labels and executives whose main concern is their bottom line.

It is impossible to work hard to attain a certain measure of success in the rap industry without becoming the target of others that are not as successful. But, when R&B singers began crooning against one another, I knew that it was time for BEEF to have a dignified funeral. It has become another way of exploiting the gifts and talents of our performers and facilitating the division that has historically led to our subjugation. Beef creates controversies that are good for record sales creating capital that the artist hardly sees. It is White-owned record labels who have profited the most while the artists must ride in bullet-proof cars.

Violent episodes at hip-hop award shows perpetuates the savage image of the young Black male that has been peddled through the mass media. Earlier this year Houston rapper Trae says he physically attacked rapper Mike Jones, because he was tired of him “fronting” like he was the mayor of Houston. More recently the entourages of rappers T.I. and Shawty Lo squared off at the Dirty Awards in Atlanta. Images of these brothers being whisked away in handcuffs went worldwide. What is sad is that someone could possibly end up hurt or dead. He who does not learn from history is doomed to repeat it.

I brought up the aforementioned incident in London to accentuate a point. Black youth in America are in a global position of leadership whether we like it or not. Youth all across the world want to walk, talk, dress, rap and act like young brothers and sisters in America. Rap artists in America have more influence than the government over the youth in some countries. Hip-hop is potentially one of the most powerful cultural art forms in the history of man. But if we continue to allow buffoonery like so-called beef to make a mockery of our culture, we will lose our opportunity to use it as a global force for serious change.

The meteoric rise of President-elect Barack Obama has placed the Black man and woman in America in the seat of leadership in the eyes of the world. Last month I traveled to China and people kept calling me “Obama.” Through his election, they were given a different image of the Black man in America. Their hope in him represents their hope in us all. The hip-hop community must now grow into this responsibility. But in order for us to grow up, we must put away childish things. Beefing with one another over who rhymes the best or over who is really from a certain neighborhood is a childish thing that hip-hop has gotten too old for. Will somebody please write a eulogy for hip-hop beef? It has outlived its usefulness and become a destructive force.

If there is any beef among artists, it should be with the record execs who craft the draconian recording contracts that keep great artists in debt. Who beefs publicly with Jimmy Iovine of Interscope Records or Lyor Cohen of Warner Music Group and others who control the artist’s purse strings?

Rappers can’t allow themselves to be like slaves divided and pitted against one another for the benefit of the slave-master. An artist who beefs with his brother for the sake of the furtherance of his career is no better than those who we criticized as sell-outs in the generations before us.

Hip-hop artists must unify or die. The world is watching.

Posted by JUST-US at 6:33 PM
Labels: editorial

5 Habits of Truly Happy People

The best-selling authors of Happy For No Reason share the secrets of true happiness.

By Marci Shimoff with Carol Kline

From www.jhj.com



Let the Joy Shine Through

A number of years ago, after decades of hard work, I finally had everything I thought I wanted. My first book became a number one New York Times bestseller. I met and married Sergio, my Italian Prince Charming, and we bought a lovely house. I had every reason to be happy. And I was happy about the things in my life. But I wasn't really happy inside.

Looking around, I saw that some of the happiest people I knew weren't the ones who "had it all." Some had health challenges. Others didn't have a dime. What was their secret? I was determined to find out.

I threw myself into the study of happiness, consulting experts and scientific research. I also found and interviewed 100 people whose happiness isn't dependent on external circumstances. I call them the Happy 100. It's not that they are always euphoric -- they may have sadness, fear, anger, or pain.

But they still experience the underlying peace and well-being that's the essence of true happiness, where you bring happiness to your experiences, rather than trying to extract happiness from them. I call this state Happy for No Reason.

I came away from my interviews with clear evidence that happy people live their lives differently. Some of the Happy 100 were simply born with happy dispositions. But most learned to be happy by thinking and living in a particular way.

In fact, I found 21 "happiness habits" that all these deeply happy people share.

Our habits do affect our happiness, and neuroscientists have recently discovered why. Habitual thoughts and behaviors create specific neural pathways in the wiring in our brains, the way water flowing downhill creates a groove in the earth. When we think or behave a certain way over and over, the neural pathway is strengthened and the groove becomes deeper. Unhappy people tend to have more negative neural pathways -- their minds are literally stuck in a rut.

Scientists used to think these neural pathways were set in stone. But new research shows that when you repeatedly think, feel, and act in a different way, the brain actually rewires itself. This means you can change your happiness set point.

Leading brain researcher Richard Davidson, PhD, of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, said, "Based on what we know about the plasticity of the brain, we can think of happiness as a skill no different from learning to play a musical instrument...it is possible to train our minds to be happy."

When acquiring a new skill, it pays to learn from the pros. Here are five key things I've learned from the Happy 100.


1. Don't Believe Everything You Think

According to medical experts, we have an average of 60,000 thoughts a day -- about one thought per second during every waking hour. And of those 60,000 thoughts, 95 percent are the same thoughts we had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. What's worse is that for the average person, the vast majority of those habitual thoughts are negative.

Not surprisingly, when your mind is swarming with these automatic negative thoughts, it has a profound physiological effect. Researchers at the National Institutes of Health, among others, have found that having negative thoughts can stimulate the areas of the brain involved in depression and anxiety.

But here's an important fact: Our thoughts aren't always true.

I can remember the time many years ago I first made this discovery. I was well into giving a presentation to 450 people packed into a hotel ballroom, and I was bombing big-time. How was I so sure? Because the man in the third row was letting me know in no uncertain terms. He sat rigidly, arms crossed. My stomach churned. He hated me!

After my talk the man made a beeline for the stage. I braced myself for his scathing critique. Instead, he thrust out his hand. "That talk changed my life," he said.

I almost fell over -- he hadn't hated me at all! It was my own negative thoughts that had been freaking me out. Moreover, I had managed to tune out the 449 people who'd been laughing, smiling, and nodding so I could focus exclusively on the one guy I thought -- wrongly -- didn't like what I was saying.

Psychologists call this our "negativity bias." For adaptive reasons, we humans have an inborn tendency to register negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences more deeply than positive ones. Our caveman ancestors were the Nervous Nellies and Fearful Franks of the tribe -- and consequently the ones who avoided the saber-toothed tigers long enough to pass on their genes.

We're hardwired for negativity: If you get 10 compliments and one criticism, what do you remember? But we can tinker with the wiring. The happy 100 are skeptical of their negative thoughts and have learned not to let false alarms hijack their happiness.


2. Notice The Happy Things in Your Life -- No Matter How Small

One evening a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside people's heads. He said, "My son, the battle is between the two 'wolves' that live inside us all. One is unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment, and inferiority. The other is happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth, and compassion."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Because of our negativity bias, we often feed the wrong wolf. To be happier, you need to even up the score. The happy 100 make a point of noticing everything good that happens to them: any positive thought they have, anything they see, feel, taste, hear, or smell that brings them pleasure. This intention activates the reticular activating system (RAS), a group of cells at the base of the brain stem that's responsible for turning on your memory system and allowing it to bring anything important to your attention. Have you ever bought a car and then suddenly started noticing the same make of car everywhere? It's the RAS at work. Now you can purposefully use it to be happier.

When you decide to look for the positive, your RAS makes sure that's what you see. One member of the happy 100 told me she made this into a game, giving out "awards" in her mind for the good things she noticed throughout the day: the best-behaved dog award; the most-courteous driver award. Once you notice something positive, take a few moments to savor it -- making a habit of feeding happiness, as the Cherokee grandfather might say.


3. Choose the Happier Thought

The next time you're faced with a challenging situation that gives rise to negative thoughts and bad feelings, find an equally true thought about the situation that makes you feel better -- and lean into it. This doesn't mean deny the negative -- just pay more attention to the positive part of the truth. The classic measure of optimism, seeing the glass as half full rather than half empty, is the perfect example of leaning into the equally true but happier thought. The happy 100 are a glass-half-full bunch.

Here's a real-life example: Have you ever been on a deadline and thought, I can't get this done in time? The next time you are having a negative, self-defeating thought like that, search your mind for positive thoughts that are equally true, like I always manage to get things done. I can ask for help. The more I relax, the more the ideas flow through me. Lean into these thoughts and you'll find yourself feeling better.


4. Tend to Your Relationships

Scores of studies have demonstrated that having good social relationships is one of the strongest predictors of happiness. I found that although the happy 100 vary in the number of relationships they have, each relationship is a healthy one that supports their happiness.

For women, relationships may be even more important. Though men and women both release adrenaline and cortisol when under stress, scientists found in a landmark UCLA study that women's brains also release oxytocin, the bonding hormone. This is why women who are going through a rough time often want to have a good, long yak-fest with a close girlfriend. The more women engage in bonding activities, the more oxytocin they release, producing a calming influence and further lowering their stress. So the next time you're upset or feeling stressed, don't say you don't have time for friends and family. This is when you need them the most!

The best way to keep relationships happy, healthy, and supportive can be summed up in one word: appreciation. "One of the most important things a person can do to raise his or her happiness level is to acknowledge those around them," says Judith W. Umlas, author of The Power of Acknowledgment. "According to a recent Gallup Management Journal article, when someone is acknowledged, dopamine is released -- a neurochemical that's directly linked to being happy!" When we demonstrate our appreciation for the support we receive from others, it reinforces that behavior and deepens our connection to them.


5. Find Passion and Purpose

One day an old woman walked up to a building site where three men were laying bricks. She asked the first man what he was doing. "Can't you see?" he replied. "I'm laying bricks, this is what I do all day -- I just lay bricks." She then asked the second man what he was doing. He replied, "I'm a bricklayer and I'm doing my work. I take pride in my craft, and I'm happy that what I do here feeds my family." Walking up to the third man, she could see his eyes were full of joy. When she posed the same question, he replied with great enthusiasm, "Oh, I'm building the most beautiful cathedral in the whole world."

Like the third bricklayer, the happy 100 bring a sense of purpose to any activity.

Bringing a sense of passion to mundane activities will boost your happiness, but so will taking the time to find your true passions. Think about what activities most absorb you and analyze what it is about those activities that makes you happy. For example, my dad loved being a dentist. When he retired, he realized it wasn't about the teeth -- it was doing intricate work that made dentistry so absorbing to him. So he took up needlepoint, loved it, and ended up winning awards for his art!

The happy 100 (and my dad would have qualified for membership) incorporate passion into their daily lives, whether at work or at home.

So what about me, the ever-searching one who managed to have lots of reasons to be happy but still needed something more? By using the tools and techniques I learned from the Happy 100, I've been able to move from a D+ to an A on the happiness scale. Now, when life tosses my boat around, I return to an even keel more easily; I don't capsize anymore. I'm still on the journey, but I'm living proof that these steps can move you in the right direction, and that anyone can become Happy for No Reason.



From Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff with Carol Kline. Copyright 2008. Reprinted by permission of Free Press, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc., NY.

Originally published in Ladies' Home Journal, May 2008.
shim

© Copyright 2009 Meredith Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

Skin-sational!

By Erica Metzger
www.jhj.com

See what a difference a day (or a week or a month) makes to your skin once you know what really works.


Get a Glow in One Day

The sun, hormones, past breakouts, medications -- they can all overactivate your pigment cells and lead to a dull, blotchy complexion

Makeup artist Laura Geller suggests applying a light layer of foundation, one with medium coverage and brightening pigments, all over your face. "The goal isn't to cover your skin with a makeup mask," she cautions. Afterward, dab opaque concealer on the most obvious flaws and set with powder.


Get a Glow in One Week

In your 20s, your skin turns over every 28 days, supplying you with fresh, smooth cells. Since this process slows with age, help shed any buildup and speed cell turnover with daily exfoliation. And make SPF 30 part of your daily routine; it will keep spots from darkening and even prevent new ones from forming.


Get a Glow in One Month

Boost results with ingredients that fade and block new pigment formation, like hydroquinone (an FDA-approved bleaching agent), kojic acid, licorice extract, and vitamin C. They'll brighten skin noticeably in a month, but to fully lighten pigment, you'll need three to six months, says dermatologist Audrey Kunin.


Look Younger in One Day

A lifetime of smiling and frowning, along with sun exposure, depletes collagen and leads to lines and sagging.

Moisturizing does more than just ease dry patches. It actually improves the look of your skin by temporarily plumping it, offering instant results. Similarly low maintenance: primers that fill in deeper creases to give your skin a smoother, less-lined appearance. They prep for makeup, too.

Look Younger in One Week

Serums formulated with anti-aging peptides and antioxidants help wake up lazy collagen-producing cells. (Top with moisturizer if needed.) Amp up results by asking your doctor for a prescription retinoid, an FDA-approved vitamin-A derivative used to stimulate collagen production and decrease its breakdown.


Look Younger in One Month

Adopting healthy skin habits -- namely exfoliating and moisturizing -- will improve your skin considerably. Eliminating skin saboteurs will also return your youthful glow. Smoking is a major cause of lines, of course, but even little actions like frequently rubbing your eyes contribute to lines, too.


Keep It Clear in One Day

Absolutely resist picking at the blemish, says dermatologist Jeanine Downie, as that only makes it worse. Instead, cover the area with a concealer that contains antibacterial and anti-inflammatory ingredients, such as salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide. They calm and treat the infection while hiding it from the world and yourself.


Keep It Clear in One Week

"The pimple you see today actually began to form several weeks ago," says dermatologist Dennis Gross, who recommends a nightly acne treatment as a preventive. Dr. Kunin suggests a balancing mask a week before your menstrual cycle begins. Also try products with gentle drying agents such as sulfur and clay.


Keep It Clear in One Month

A kit that gently unclogs pores and reduces oil, bacteria, and inflammation is ideal. if you have severe breakouts, scarring, or cysts, you'll likely need prescription-strength retinoids, such as Retin-A, antibiotics, or even birth control pills. A dermatologist can help you determine the best regimen.

5 signs you are too skinny....

From www.getgorgeous.com

SIGNS YOUR TOO SKINNY!
1. Your Shoulders Are Scary

This look is getting to be pretty standard, but, I assure you, shoulders are meant to have a bit of fat on them unless its not your fault. You're not supposed to be so skinny that only bone remains. I've seen sexier skeletons in anatomy labs. If you look at her back, you can see of a bit of her super-pronounced spine, as well.

2. Each Of Your Ribs Are Visible

You're a human being, not a cockroach. This means you have an endoskeleton, not an exoskeleton. In other words, we're not supposed to know what every nook and cranny of your ribcage looks like.

Nor do we want to. It's scary. It's horrifying, really. If you look like the model in that top right photo, your body has serious, serious issues it would like to discuss with you.

3. Your Chest Is Caving In

This one causes me great pain to look at. Ouch. Ugh. Doesn't that hurt?? If your chest is caving in, and your breast plate is more prominent than your breasts (assuming you've got enough fat to even have breasts) something is wrong. This is especially scary when the woman bends over.

I've noticed this "look" with many Hollywood celebs in the last year or so, and it amazes me that their handlers are not telling them how frightening that is. If you are going to be this skinny, please wear a turtleneck, as anything else is really distressing to look at.

4. Your Legs Are Thinner Than Barbie's

This chick looks like a porcelain doll, doesn't she? Take a look at her face. She looks pretty darned unhappy, doesn't she? Not that blame her -- I'd be pretty unhappy if my legs were that skinny, too.

It's kind of amazing, really. I mean, take a closer look at the photo. Her legs actually appear to be the same size as her arms. The same size as her arms. Gawd, how is that even possible?

Now take a look at the belt around her waist. It's bigger than her legs!

5. Not Even Stage Makeup Can Cover The Bags

Big black bags under the eyes are a part of life for many of us, particularly when we are tired. It happens, and that's something women just have to deal with. But, if you're of the super skinny minnie variety, the blackness quickly gets replaced by a pink, hollowed look that not even the best makeup artist can conceal.

Take a look at that model and you'll see what I mean. You'll also notice she looks ill on several levels. I'm sure hunger is playing a big part in that. Such a shame, as a bit of extra weight would really make her stunning, as she's obviously quite pretty to begin with.
(If you are too skinny sometimes it is not your fault i understand)

How to look better in this year's holiday pictures

By Sarah www.total beauty.com

Holidays are coming and you know what that means -- lots of photos. While we can't help if someone takes a shot of you mid-bite or chugging egg nog, here are a few tips for those slightly more planned photos:


1. Wear foundation that's slightly darker than your skin. It'll keep you from looking pale. Just be sure to blend it onto your neck to avoid that horrible mask look.


2. Don't use powder; it looks cakey and ghost-like on camera. Use oil blotting sheets instead.


3. Stuck at the end of a group shot? Lift your shoulder slightly and roll it forward for a skinnier-looking arm.


4. Totally cheesy, but to look slimmer try the celebrity 3/4 shot. Turn your body so 3/4 of it is facing the camera, put one foot slightly behind the other and hands behind your back or on your hip. Smile naturally to avoid looking like Paris Hilton.


5. Don't let anyone photograph you from below eye level; it gives you shadows under your eyes. Be a diva and insist they stand on a chair; it's worth it.

Six Green Hangover Remedies

By Marissa Moss

Some might say if you have a hangover, you might already be green (not the environmental kind of green, ahem). But if you want to cure that throbbing headache from last night’s Christmas party or holiday get-together, take a few suggestions from Tree Hugger’s list of the top green hangover remedies. Because if you are going to be green in the face, you might as well be green all the way. ‘Tis the season…


1. Yoga
Athletic activity might sound a)exhausting and b)nauseating, but yoga is actually one of the quickest way to rid the toxins from your body. Try a routine of a couple of sun salutations followed by a series or moderate twists – literally “wring” the remaining alcohol from your body. Check out tips from Planet Green on how to make your yoga greener.

2. Wheatgrass
While a thick green juice might seem less than appetizing, take a shot of this curing beverage to balance all the not-so-curing ones you downed last night. Found at your local natural foods shop, wheatgrass’ chlorophyll content and detoxifying effects are a surefire cure.

3. Rescue Remedy
This product (which is made 100% naturally from spring water infused with wild flowers), which celebrities use for its calming effects (red carpet=nerve overload) is also known to help soothe a hungover system. A couple of drops in your water before bed and a pastille in the morning is the natural technique some swear by.

4. Coconut Water
Gatorade or other electrolyte-enhanced beverages are a common antidote. But since you’ve already been taxing the liver, why continue with the artificial colors and flavorings found in these sugary drinks? Young coconut water boasts electrolytes and more potassium than a banana, and is usually not packaged in polluting plastic.

5. Play in the Snow
A cold shower is a time honored remedy. But why waste the water? Lay your sad little head in the snow for the same effects. And make the snow look pretty while you are at it, with a nice imprint of your misbehaved body! If you must shower, read TH's tips on saving water.

6. Hair of the dog
If all else fails, have another cocktail. My favorite? A nice Dubonnet aperitif, which has just enough alcohol (but not too much) to take the edge off. I like to mix a little in a glass with organic orange juice, home squeezed from the farmer’s market for a little vitamin C.

Green your bubbly: From eco-champers to a cork chair competition

by greenlagirl

I'm serious about starting off the new year greenly -- which is why I saved not just one, but two guides to eco-friendly bubblies: Grist's guide to distinctive, affordable, eco-friendly sparkling wines and Low Impact Living's guide to 9 domestic sparkling wines.

I printed those out -- on one-side-used paper, of course -- and headed to Co-opportunity, my neighborhood co-op grocer, then to Whole Foods. Sadly, neither eco-conscious store had any of the bubblies in stock! I did, however, find a Vida Organica sparkling chardonnay (right) at Whole Foods and decided to give it a try. The bottle cost $12.99, but only $12.94 for me because I got my 5 cent refund for taking my own bag --

Theoretically, one should save the bubbly for New Year's Eve -- but for the sake of the blog that'd help everyone else prep for the last day of 2008, I went ahead and popped the cork (hihi!).

This sparkling chardonnay tasted like -- chardonnay with bubbles. I recommend this bottle from Vida Organica if 1) you always thought chardonnay might taste even better carbonated, 2) you generally find champagne and sparkling wine too dry for your taste, or 2) you're not picky. Otherwise, I recommend that you look harder for the sparklers on the Grist or Low Impact Living lists.

Post-drinking, the bottle went in the recycling bin, but the cork, foil and wire cage remained, ready for the DWR Champagne Chair Contest! Yep, those seeking to make their New Year's Eve celebrations zero waste can upcycle their champers detritus into a lilliputian chair. The lucky winner gets a $1,330 eco-friendly Morgans Chair in polished aluminum; two other winners will be awarded less costly but still pricy chairs (Anyone else wonder why DWR stands for Design WITHIN Reach? Anyway...).

You do have to get that chair entry in before Friday, Jan. 9 -- which means you'll want to get to work right away when you wake up on New Year's Day. To help you out, Treehugger's put together a list of the Top Green Hangover Remedies. In my experience, the only cure that actually works reasonably quickly is the hair of the dog, though most might consider that more a delay tactic than an actual cure. Still, if you can delay the hangover for 9 days....

Top photo by Siel
___

BlogHer Contributing Editor Siel sometimes drinks while blogging at greenLAgirl.com.

Top 10 Credit Myths

Lexington Law Firm began its consumer law practice in the early 1990s when it redefined a fledgling credit repair industry by fusing strict regulatory compliance with innovative credit repair solutions. Today, Lexington Law continues to be a driving force helping clients take action on their credit, and remains the trusted leader in credit report repair.


Top Ten Credit Myths

1. When I pay off a past-due account, such as a charge off or a collection account, it will show "paid" and will no longer be negative.
2. If I succeed in deleting a negative item, it will just come right back on my credit report.
3. There are negative listings, such as bankruptcies and foreclosures, that are impossible to remove from the credit report.
4. Disputing the credit report is easy and any consumer can do it himself for the price of a few postage stamps.
5. If I declare bankruptcy, I can begin my credit report all over with a clean slate.
6. If you are not satisfied with the results of your credit bureau challenge, you may file a "100-word statement" on your credit report explaining your side of the story.
7. By changing numbers in my social security number or by using an EIN tax number, I can fool the credit bureaus into creating a completely clean, new credit file under my name.
8. If I build enough good credit, it will offset my bad credit and make me credit worthy.
9. I can improve my credit score by closing down some credit cards.
10. It is illegal for creditors to take a negative, accurate listing off my credit report.





Myth #1: When I pay off a past-due account, such as a charge off or a collection account, it will show "paid" and will no longer be negative.

It is quite difficult to restore your credit without somehow satisfying your outstanding debts. However, paying an outstanding, delinquent debt you will change the account status to "paid collection," "paid was late," or "paid was charged off" - which will still stand out as a very negative listing. When you have outstanding debt, it is almost always prudent to seek professional help so that you may settle your debts while creating a reasonable possibility of deletion of the negative listing at the same time.



Myth #2: If I succeed in deleting a negative item, it will just come right back on my credit report.

The credit bureaus have cleverly spread this myth through the news media and government agencies. In truth, the credit bureaus will often temporarily delete a negative listing if they haven't heard from the credit grantor after approximately thirty days. If the credit grantor reports late, say after six weeks, and then verifies the negative listing, the credit bureau will often reinsert the negative listing on the credit report. This is often known as a "soft delete." Usually, though, the creditor simply fails to respond and the negative listing is permanently deleted. If the item is verified by the credit grantor, either before thirty days or after, the account may still be challenged again at some future time.



Myth #3: There are negative listings, such as bankruptcies and foreclosures, that are impossible to remove from the credit report.

There is no type of negative listing that hasn't been removed from a credit report thousands of times by Lexington Law Firm. Negative items, such as bankruptcy or unpaid debts, are certainly more difficult to remove from the credit report, but this has more to do with the operational systems of the credit bureaus than with the severity of the bad credit item. For example, judgments and tax liens are severely negative listings, yet are easier to remove.



Myth #4: Disputing the credit report is easy and any consumer can do it himself for the price of a few postage stamps.

Disputing the credit report is easy. Getting results from the credit bureaus is amazingly difficult, complex, and infuriating. Remember, the credit bureaus are primarily interested in protecting their profits. Investigating your challenge consumes these profits. Short of sparking a mass number of lawsuits, the credit bureaus seem to do everything in their power to discourage consumers from making progress with their credit restoration. Restoring your own credit report is like repairing your own transmission or representing yourself in court; it is possible, but you must decide if your are willing to take the time and assume the risks of doing it yourself.



Myth #5: If I declare bankruptcy, I can begin my credit report all over with a clean slate.

Many bankruptcy attorneys do not adequately understand or explain the effects of bankruptcy to their clients. Stated simply, bankruptcy is to the credit rating what the nuclear bomb is to war. When you file for bankruptcy, every credit account that you decide to include in bankruptcy will become an "included in bankruptcy" account. Additionally, a bankruptcy filing and bankruptcy discharge listing will appear in the court records section of your credit report. Because so many negative items are attached to the bankruptcy, it becomes difficult to remove all trace of the bad credit. If at all possible, you should avoid bankruptcy.



Myth #6: If you are not satisfied with the results of your credit bureau challenge, you may file a "100-word statement" on your credit report explaining your side of the story.

Creditors will read your statement and will take it into consideration. To our knowledge, no known creditor considers information given in a 100-word statement. The statement only serves to verify some of the negative listings on the credit report. Make 100-word statements the first things you delete from your credit file.





Myth #7: By changing numbers in my social security number or by using an EIN tax number, I can fool the credit bureaus into creating a completely clean, new credit file under my name.

This scheme has proven to be complex, difficult, and illegal. Lying about any personal information on a credit application is usually a criminal offense. Using these "file segregation" schemes requires an enormous amount of coordination, not to mention personal risk.





Myth #8: If I build enough good credit, it will offset my bad credit and make me credit worthy.

After all, I was only late a couple of times. Any amount of bad credit is devastating to your chances of being approved by a credit grantor. Most credit grantors never actually look at your credit report. A computer pulls your credit report, rates your credit standing, indebtedness, and stability, then spits out an acceptance or denial. Even one or two slow pays will usually trigger a credit card or personal loan denial. The slightest amount of negative credit will cause the interest on an auto loan to skyrocket. You will probably find that even a little bad credit, regardless of how much good credit you have, is an unacceptable barrier to credit approval.





Myth #9: I can improve my credit score by closing down some credit cards.

For starters, closing down credit cards usually leads to a significant decrease in the credit score. What's more, consumers focus far too much on positive credit while negative credit still appears on the credit report. Negative credit effectively wipes out any amount of positive credit when the score is calculated.





Myth #10: It is illegal for creditors to take a negative, accurate listing off my credit report.

The law requires that these items remain on the credit report for at least seven years. When you speak with credit grantors, collection agencies, or credit bureaus, their typically under-educated staff may tell you all manner of such pseudo-legal nonsense. The law demands that negative listings appear on your credit report for no longer than seven years. The credit grantor or the credit bureau can choose to delete the negative credit listing whenever they see fit.



Entire contents © 2008, Lexington Law Firm

Make More than Just Your New Year's Eve Rock: Six Ways to Take Charge of 2009

As the year comes to a close, it's time to think about what you want next year to look like. Stephen Covey, one of the most prolific leadership authors of our time, says there are six things you can do right now to make 2009 your best year ever:

1. Be proactive.
It's more than just taking initiative. It means being responsible for your own life. Empower yourself to lead and spread your influence no matter what position you hold.

2. Sharpen the saw.
Decide what's truly important. Sharpen your saw early in the day by learning to say no to the unimportant and yes to the highly important.

3. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. It's human nature to want to be understood, but when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is listening. By making the investment to understand the other party, you can magically transform the course of your conversations.

4. Begin with the end in mind. Start today with an image of the end of your life as the frame of reference by which everything else is examined. With a clear idea of where you are going, examine everything in the context of what matters to you most.

5. Develop a vision mission statement. Get a deep sense of your life's mission, purpose and value system, then establish your goals and a system of accountability that keeps you on track.

6. Think win-win.There is enough success for everyone, so don't view another person's success as success achieved at your expense or exclusion.

More about Stephen Covey on SUCCESS.com.

You Too Can Host An Inaugural Bash!

Dear MoveOn member,

Think of Barack Obama giving his inaugural address, surrounded by millions of the people who worked to elect him. Really, stop and imagine it. Does it make you smile? Us too. Does it make you want to celebrate? Good.

Because we're organizing Inaugural Bashes that night in cities across the country and we want you to come—in fact, we want you to host. The Chicago Inaugural Bash could be an informal party in a friendly local bar or restaurant, a smaller get-together at your house, or an elaborate Inaugural Ball—it's up to you.

The important thing is that we come together to kick off this new progressive era. Can you host an Inaugural Bash so the folks in Chicago have a place to celebrate? Click here to register your event:

http://pol.moveon.org/event/events/create.html?action_id=158&id=15305-14621121-Wt6cTcx&t=3

These parties are being organized with MoveOn.org Civic Action—which means it's fine to hold your party in a bar or restaurant. So if you have a friendly local bar that you think would be a great venue, give them a call to ask if they'd be OK with your throwing a party. (They'll probably appreciate all the extra business on a Tuesday night.)

Having your party in a bar or restaurant means more people can attend, but holding your event in a more private space, or at your home, is great too. And if you're not sure yet where your party will be, that's fine—you can still sign up to host now.

Once you've found a venue, hosting a party is really easy. We'll invite other MoveOn members in your area, provide all the materials you'll need, and offer some ideas for fun things to do at your party.

Millions of people will be gathering in Washington, D.C. on January 20th, but there are millions more around the country who helped make this day possible. Can you sign up to host an Inaugural Bash in Chicago so folks near you have a place to celebrate, too?

http://pol.moveon.org/event/events/create.html?action_id=158&id=15305-14621121-Wt6cTcx&t=4


Thanks for all you do.

–Daniel, Adam G., Noah, Marika and the rest of the team

Does Couples Counseling Work?

By Molly Triffin

Are you skeptical about the benefits of couples counseling? Our checklist may be able to help you determine if counseling would work for you.

Rumor has it that after seeing a couples counselor two years ago, Madonna and Guy Ritchie posted a list of relationship guidelines on the wall of their Manhattan apartment. A few of the reported rules: Guy must work to "enrich his wife's emotional and spiritual well-being" Guy must set aside time to read Kabbalah texts with his wife; both parties must "not use sex as a stick to beat one another."

Despite these meticulous measures, Madge and Guy still decided to split. And that begs the question: Does couples counseling really help? "Ultimately, if you really love the person, it's worth it to pull out all the stops," says Debbie Magids, Ph.D., author of All the Good Ones Aren't Taken. "But at some point, if things aren't getting better, you have to reassess."

If you're in a long-term relationship and having serious issues with your guy, you may want to consider going to therapy together (it costs about $150 to $200 a session, on average). Take a look at the checklist on the next page. The more questions you answer yes to, the greater the possibility that counseling could work for you.

Do the good times outweigh the bad?
If you enjoy being with your man the majority of the time, don't call it quits just yet.

Can you forgive him?
When trouble stems from a betrayal, such as cheating, it can be tough to move past that. But in order to have a strong relationship, you must be able to let go of the resentment.

Is the root of your conflict caused by an external force?
If an outside factor (for instance, he lost his job or there's an illness in your family) is putting stress on your relationship, the tough time is likely conditional and temporary.

Do you agree on the fundamentals of life?
You can find a happy medium when it comes certain disagreements, like how tidy you want to keep your pad. But others, such as whether or not you want to have kids in the future, are so fundamental that you need to be on the same page.

Is the relationship worth the work you'll have to put in?
Some couples are naturally more compatible than others, so their bonds are relatively easy to keep strong. Those who aren't as closely matched have to work harder to resolve differences of opinion and lifestyle. That doesn't mean your connection is any less wonderful, it just takes more effort to get to that point, so you need to be up for the challenge.

Source: Joanne Magdoff, Ph.D., psychologist in New York; Debbie Magids, Ph.D.
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

Shoeture - Bring Back The Glamour To Shoes With Jewelry...

Thrillist Los Angeles
Monday December 22, 2008

Shoeture

Auto enthusiasts pimp cars, yachtsmen pimp boats, and men with golden fedoras pimp themselves before pimping, but as a normal dude, how do you get in on the glamor? With Shoeture.







Thrillist - Shoeture
From an LA-based, Japan-inspired ball-cap designer who wanted to give people a simple way to recapture the joy they felt when their kicks were brand new, Shoeture's a just-launched line of "shoe jewelry" that covers your laces with flashy metal links, for that "fashionable android about town" look. Currently, they offer two styles in three colors (gold, silver, gunmetal): "Hooks", which run horizontal like a ladder, or "Tangs", which ride diagonally atop the laces, and in a pinch can provide many essential nutrients in outer space. The shoe-lery comes in sets of 10 (five per shoe), with instructions on the website abetted with a helpful, particularly un-viral YouTube video.

If you're fashionable but extremely slow, send Shoeture your shoes, and they'll steez them at no additional charge -- and what's more pimp than having someone else do the grunt work?

Big Foot Pimpin' at Shoeture.com

Elemental Wellness Technology Stop: Facebook's Pied Piper and Personal Branding

By Wendy Marx
FastCompany.Com

Thousands of ordinary folks are a little better known and successful today thanks to the extraordinary networking talents of one woman.

Meet the Pied Piper of the online world, Mari Smith [1], a veritable engine of personal branding and a relationship marketing whiz.

Not simply a land-based networker, Smith wields her magic on one of the largest platforms in the world, Facebook, home to 69 million active users and 250,000 new members joining every day. She’s also an active user of Twitter.

An evangelist for the powers of Facebook [2], Smith teaches a free introductory class about using Facebook for professional networking and business building. To date, more than 700 folks have taken her class. She also blogs about Facebook. [3]

And, today is the official launch of her signature course, Facebook for Professionals: How to Use the #1 Social Network to Strategically Grow Your Business [4]- A complete Multimedia System that includes a comprehensive ebook, how-to videos and interviews with some 30 successful Facebook members including popular web strategist and Sr Analyst at Forrester Research, Jeremiah Owyang [5], and creator of the Book Yourself Solid System, Michael Port [6].

For Smith, who is 41, Facebook [7] is a personal branding megaphone, allowing you to broadcast your personal brand around the world by commenting on “friends’” walls, adding photos, sending personal messages, joining groups, pushing out blog feeds and providing frequent status updates.

“Far more than an online resume, Facebook shines a spotlight on you while radiating your work and life to hundreds of others who in turn introduce it to hundreds more -- and suddenly you have all these interwoven connections,” says Smith.

“Facebook provides the opportunity for me to talk to people at a higher level than I did before in such a wide range of industries, including seven-figure internet marketers, copywriters, authors, and speakers. One multi-millionaire internet marketer told me pointblank that if I’d tried to reach him any other way, we would not be having the conversation. All his calls and emails are filtered through several assistants.”

It’s also opened the door for her to connect with some of her favorite actors and musicians. Smith counts the actor Leonardo DiCaprio as a friend, along with Paul B. Allen III, the original lead singer of The Four Tops.

Smith’s Facebook activity has not only paid off in visibility but on the bottom line. Since she began using Facebook last July, she says her hourly consulting rate has increased by 50% and she anticipates that her 2008 revenues will be three times those of last year.

Don’t for a minute, however think that she’s chained to a desk, keyboard and office. An admirer of Tim Ferriss’ Four Hour Workweek [8], she and her husband, Ty, in July 2007 sold their California home, bought an RV and took to the open road. They haven’t looked back. She and Ty blog about their roadie life at befreegomobile.com. Smith dedicates three days a week for work and the rest of the time for travel. A night owl, she also catches up on work in the wee hours. Ty, a real estate investor, carves out a similar work-travel schedule.

“I’m blessed to be living my dream,” says Smith. “A friend says ‘I’m an overnight success 10 years in the making.’ It has taken a lot of work behind the scenes to put me where I am today.”

Smith offers this advice for those of us seeking to build a personal brand online:

• Register for a Facebook account and set up your personal Profile and business Page.
• Populate your Profile and Page with instructive information about you and your business.
• Join and actively participate in Groups that interest you.
• Strategically and regularly renew your Status Update.
• Share useful links related to your industry using the Posted Items application.
• Comment on your friends’ Walls, Notes , Posted Items, Photos and Videos.
• Write informational Notes and tag key Facebook friends.
• Write a blog and import your feed using Notes and/or one of the third party blog applications.
• And, most importantly, seek to build relationships by being your authentic self and by seeking to add value and uplift people’s spirits with no “agenda.” People will remember you and want to connect with you.

Salons want chance to style Michelle Obama

WASHINGTON — Hair salon owner Barry Fletcher sent Michelle Obama a 17-minute DVD about himself. Hairdresser Keith Harley uploaded his resume to President-elect Barack Obama's Web site. And salon owner Nicole Cober-Blake plans to get her name in by sending a welcome basket with bath gels, hair products and a robe.

There are plenty of unanswered questions buzzing around the Obamas' impending arrival, but one has hairdressers on the edge of their styling chairs: Who will be chosen to do Michelle Obama's hair?

Rather than venture out for hair appointments, the first lady typically invites beauticians to the White House. Some of the region's black salon owners hope their experience with ethnic hair could give them an edge over those who coiffed the likes of Laura Bush or Hillary Clinton.

Fletcher, the 52-year-old owner of The Hair Palace Salon in Mitchellville, Maryland, cites his experience in international hairstyling challenges and working with actress Halle Berry and singer Mya, a Washington native.

"I'm going to be doing her hair!" Fletcher said, if he has anything to say about it. "This would pretty much validate all of my hard work and effort to get to a level where I could handle a powerful queen like the first lady."

Not that it's all glamour for the stylist. Bernard Portelli, who briefly styled Hillary Clinton's bob back in 1993, recalled working in a simple room in the White House with a shampoo basin, two chairs and plenty of outlets for blow dryers and flat irons. He's not necessarily eager to go back.

"You have all kind of last-minute phone calls, which is extremely hard for someone who has a large clientele in a salon to drop everything and go," said 57-year-old Portelli, who owns Georgetown's Okyo Salon.

Still, if Obama's tresses dazzle the public, it would be a public relations coup for any salon. Nuri Yurt of Georgetown's Toka Salon attracted attention after he began styling Laura Bush's hair in 2005. Earlier this year, Vogue magazine called him one of the country's best colorists for brunettes.

"It's permanent advertising, if you will, for the salon," Portelli said.

From the stylists' perspective, Obama doesn't need much help — they describe her hair as classic in style, healthy and free-spirited.

For election night, Michael "Rahni" Flowers of Van Cleef Hair Studio in Chicago — Obama's stylist since she was 18 — did her hair. And for the Democratic National Convention, Obama turned to Chicago-native Johnny Wright of Frederic Fekkai's Los Angeles salon.

If an out-of-towner gets the assignment, it would disappoint locals like Cober-Blake, lawyer-turned-owner of D.C.'s Soul Day Spa and Salon. The 37-year-old said she's excited about the possibility of having Obama experience the services at Soul, where she said they "treat everyone like a Michelle Obama."

Harley, of Keith Harley Hair & Scalp Clinic in Arlington, Virginia, submitted his resume a month ago.

"It would be the highlight of my career," said 39-year-old Harley, who styles such high-profile Washington women as Debra Lee, chief executive officer of Black Entertainment Television. "It would be an honor."

And like her fashion, Obama's hairstyles probably will be scrutinized, as has been the case with other first ladies.

"The thing about being the first lady, you're only as fashionable as your last picture," said Dennis Roche, 58, of Washington's Roche Salon, which has ethnic hair experts that he said could style Obama. "This is kind of risky because of the fact that we all have bad hair days." - AP

VOLUNTEERISM...IDEA NUMERO UNO~ORGANIZE A USED CLOTHING DONATION DRIVE

by Katherine Noyes
Clothing Donation

Used clothing donations provide needed warmth for the homeless.

Unfortunately, many would-be donors throw out perfectly good used clothes rather than deliver them to The Salvation Army or Goodwill.

A clothes drive is a fun way to make it easier for would-be donors to make a difference, particularly if you live in a multi-resident building, work at a large office, or belong to a civic club, church, synagogue or mosque.

Homeless people and low income families need all types of gently used clothing, particularly warm clothes and coats for cold weather, formal clothes (to attend job interviews), and shoes (which frequently wear out). It's helpful if donated clothing is clean, reasonably wrinkle-free, and on hangers.

A few signs and prizes can encourage 20, 50, 100 or even more families around you to donate their used clothing and shoes. To motivate maximum donations, you could create excitement by offering:

* a prize for the heaviest contribution, to encourage "spring-cleaners" to donate as much as possible
* a prize awarded at random for any contribution, no matter how small, to encourage used clothing donations from as many participants as possible

Remember that every little bit helps. Then again, once you've got people inspired, you'll be amazed at the difference your used clothing donation drive can make.

Friendship Used Clothing Collection offers suggestions for organizing a used clothing donation drive, as does this guide to campus clothing drives and this guide on organizing a clothing drive in your office. Alternatively, you can follow these simple steps:

Step 1: Obtain permission to use the space where you plan to locate your collection boxes or event.

Step 2: Contact a charitable agency, such as The Salvation Army or Goodwill, to arrange a suitable date and time for the pickup of your collected donation.

Step 3: Secure prizes — such as toys, frequent flyer miles, or an extra vacation day — that would motivate clothing and shoe donations from your potential audience. Check with your employer and local merchants, who would get positive publicity for their participation.

Step 4: Publicize a donation valuation guide for tax deduction purposes.

Step 5: Have fun advertising your collection drive with signs and unique displays! The more appealing your advertisement, the more your community can make a difference for those in need.

The Best Job Advice on the Web Today

December 17, 2008 02:44 PM ET | Liz Wolgemuth

If you've recently been laid off, or your hours have been cut, or your workload has tripled--you may be tempted to badmouth your company to friends, family, and new acquaintances with whom you're sharing your current plight. The Boston Herald says it's a bad idea to even show visible anger. If this upsets you further, take comfort that the reason is satisfyingly self-serving--the fact is that "the organization you are leaving may be your best source for new employment through referrals and references.

The two keys to success are people skills and self-management, says Tom Hoobyar. It's his first law of life. He has a dozen. "If you learn to manage yourself you can accomplish anything you can dream up," he writes. It's an empowerment boost for those losing sleep over the state of the job market. Other laws are also useful, particularly no. 9: "There is no 'happily ever after' in the real world." Instead, after every crisis, the sun rises again--that's the good news.

Anxiety is running high among the still-employed. Employees feel stressed when they don't feel in control--and who feels in control right now? Even executives are answering to Congress. The Work Buzz blog suggests three moves you can take to help with the anxiety. First, make sure you have copies of all the documents, contacts and whatnot you'd wish you'd made copies of if you were laid off. Second, take advantage of your healthcare coverage while you still have it. Third, start networking sooner rather than later.

Essential recession reading: 5 new articles for young job hunters

BY Lindsey Pollack

Yesterday I was a guest on NPR’s Talk of the Nation on the topic of “Where to Look for Jobs in the Recession.” Laurence Shatkin, author of 150 Best Recession-Proof Jobs, and I shared our tips, and host Neal Conan took calls from listeners.

Many listeners shared upsetting stories of layoffs and difficulty landing new jobs, and many also offered suggestions on what companies and industries are still hiring. We discussed opportunities in healthcare, education, accounting, trucking, energy, defense and more.

We also talked about the fact that job hunters today have to cast a very wide net in their jobs searches. To that end, here are several recent articles that offer an abundance of suggestions, resources and opportunities:

1. General career and job hunting advice for young professionals, from U.S. News and World Report: 5 Things Every Young Worker Needs to Know

2. Tips to follow if you’ve just lost your job, from career coach Maggie Mistal:
What to Do When You’re Out of a Job

3. Tips for international job searches, from Entry-Level Careers Examiner:
Finding an Internship or Entry-Level Job Abroad

4. Advice on finding a job with a small business (this article provides recruiting advice to small business owners, so just flip it around to see where to position yourself to be recruited), from BusinessWeek:
Where to Find Top Talent

5. Suggestions for advertising industry job seekers, from Advertising Age:
Getting Ready to Graduate? Five Tips for Weathering the Ad Industry Storm

Interested in more articles like these? Join the “Getting from College to Career” Facebook fan page, where new articles, videos and resources are posted every day!

Hey, baby, how's your credit?

'Dearly beloved, we are gathered here . . . to exchange credit scores.' OK, you might not want to go that far, but sharing financial data before marriage can help a relationship. If money and relationships are an uncomfortable mix, then credit and romance are downright strange bedfellows.

"You may say you know everything about a person, but you probably don't know anything about his credit record," says Adam Levin, the founder of Credit.com.

A recent TV commercial features a forlorn young husband forced to live with his in-laws because he was clueless about his bride's abysmal credit; it's aiming to spur young lovers to share credit scores. Of course, the commercial's sponsor, the web site Freecreditreport.com, hopes to rev up its credit information sales, too. Romantic partners are a big untapped market. Despite its name, that site enrolls people in a credit monitoring service costing $14.95 a month.

The only Web site where consumers can obtain free credit reports is AnnualReports.com, a site set up by the federal government. "We have found that people often aren't interested in reviewing their credit report until there is a life event which makes them aware of how important it is," says Heather McLaughlin, a spokeswoman for Experian Americas, the parent of Freecreditreport.com.

"The commercial about the couple living in the basement addresses one of those life events where knowing each others credit prior to getting into a financial obligation together would have been helpful." But according to relationship experts, it will take much more than a commercial to get someone to present his partner with a report detailing his sinking debt.

Don't Mention It

In a recent study of 50,000 couples who went through its marriage preparation course, Life Innovations found that "a large percentage of partners don't talk about money or credit issues in any detail at all," says Peter Larson, a clinical psychologist and the vice president of the Minneapolis firm. They may prefer to remain mum about finances and credit, but these issues could become major irritants to the 50,000 couples, Larson adds.

"Seventy-two percent of the 100,000 individual respondents said they wished their partner would be more careful about spending," Larson says. "And 56% say major debts are a problem."

As long as you don't have an account held jointly in both names, you're not responsible for a romantic partner's debts. And debts that someone brings into a marriage under her own name are not legally the responsibility of the spouse, notes Alton Abramowitz, a vice president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

But even when you're not legally liable for someone else's debts, if you're living together, you'll suffer the irritating calls from creditors coming into your home, Levin says.

Look For Clues

Not only is credit an unpopular topic of conversation, it's only human nature to keep a bad record to yourself. "It's hard to bring up because of the shame factor," Levin says.

Often, you don't have to actually talk about credit or pull a report to know that your partner is on shaky ground.

Nancy Michaels, the founder of the Web site MatchGoneWrong.com, believes there can be plenty of warning signs:

• Someone has his or her credit card denied on more than one occasion.

• An older adult has a "temporary" living situation that seems inappropriate, such as living with multiple roommates or with parents.

• Someone pays for everything in cash.

• Spending habits are either unusually frugal or exceptionally extravagant, indicating the person has money management issues.

Trust Me?

For most couples, simply talking about credit is all that's needed, not actually pulling each other's scores or credit records, Larson says. He likens pulling a credit report to a prenuptial agreement.

"It implies a lack of trust," he says. "It means you need an underlying confirmation."

Still, just as there can be good reasons for a prenup, there can be reasons why couples need to exchange credit information.

"Many more couples are choosing to keep their finances separate, but the tradition is still to combine finances," Larson says. "If I had any reason to believe my partner had a checkered financial past, I may want to sit down with a financial adviser and look at credit scores before I made the decision to combine finances. For some couples, this is an important move to being able to buy a house or finance a car. They need the credit of the individual most worthy of that type of financing."

Federal law prohibits anyone from seeking credit information about another individual for personal reasons without that person's consent. So you don't have to worry that your significant other is digging up your credit sins behind your back.

But, if it's true love, credit-scarred individuals may have nothing to fear about baring their scores. The Internet dating service True.com conducted a survey earlier this year of about 2,200 online respondents. In response to a question about whether they would stay in a relationship where their partner had substantial credit card debt or had filed for bankruptcy, 87% of men and 80% of women said they would.

This article was reported and written by Marilyn Kennedy Melia for Bankrate.com.

AIDS: D.C.'s Silent Stalker of Women

By Courtland Milloy
Wednesday, December 3, 2008; B01

Washington Post

Can we talk frankly about HIV/AIDS and black women?

No? I didn't think so.

After all, who cares to tell sassy little Keisha that if she doesn't stop mistaking sex for love, her next mistake could be her last. Of course, that wouldn't be "age appropriate," now, would it?

What about the Widow Jones? Since her husband passed, she has been dating again. Will somebody please tell her that her new dude is on the down low -- surreptitiously having sex with men -- then bringing it to bed with her?

Can't do that, either. Why meddle in her business? After all, AIDS is only the fourth-leading cause of death for black women ages 45 to 54. Let the good sister have her fun -- while it lasts.

You might have noticed that I'm focusing on women and AIDS. Speaking frankly, that's because it's up to women to save their own lives. When it comes to sexually transmitted diseases, too many men are not trying to protect you. Most of the time, they are just trying to have sex.

Quite frankly, you would have thought more women would have caught on by now.

In the District, the number of women living with AIDS increased by more than 76 percent in six years -- nine out of 10 of them black women. The primary modes of transmission: heterosexual men who turned out to be IV drug users, ex-convicts who'd been having sex with men in prison, bisexual men posing as heterosexuals and outright dogs who make a sport of sexual conquest.

Here's another reason I'm talking to women: The District accounts for 9 percent of all pediatric AIDS cases in the United States. Blame the man all you want, but it's the mother and child who suffer most.

Despite two decades of advancement in the treatment of HIV/AIDS, "we're still struggling with how to teach people not to get infected," Don Blanchon, chief executive of the Whitman-Walker Clinic in Washington, said Monday at a candlelight vigil marking the 20th anniversary of World AIDS Day.

But how can we teach if we can't talk frankly?

There's certainly no shortage of public service announcements aimed at reducing infection rates among African Americans. But most consist of preachy platitudes, politically correct and "culturally sensitive" pablum: "Stay healthy." "AIDS is preventable."

The results should not be surprising.

"People know how to espouse what they heard, but for some reason it does not stick with them," Barbara Chinn, director of Whitman Walker Clinic's Max Robinson Center in Southeast Washington, told me recently. "They still look at prospective sex partners and say, 'They don't look infected.' "

Failure to tell it like it is -- that's what's really killing us.

"When assessing the HIV risk factors associated with African Americans, one particularly difficult area of debate is that of sexual behavior," said a recent report by Avert, an international AIDS charity. "For example, could the epidemic among African Americans be because, on average, they have more sex partners than Caucasians? Or because they have different, more risky, types of sex? Such questions may seem obvious, but trying to establish answers can be hard, especially when there is a danger that they could be interpreted as racist, or used in racist propaganda."

So let's just forget about the 2005 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that found that black teenagers were more likely to have had four or more sex partners than whites and Hispanics by the time they graduated from high school (or should have graduated), and that African American girls were more likely to have had partners who were significantly older than them. African Americans are also more likely to have concurrent partners -- that is, more than one partner at a time, which can make HIV transmission more likely to be passed on to more than one person, the study found.

If ever there was a case for unvarnished sex education in public schools, the ongoing AIDS epidemic in black America ought to be it. Instead of education, what we get more often than not is homophobic nonsense from the pulpits of our black churches.

The District has the highest rate of new reports of AIDS in the country, and the highest mortality rates to go along with it. But the horror of it all barely seeps into our collective conscience.

"While Africa is the global epicenter of HIV/AIDS infection," Chinn told me, "the District is the epicenter in this country, with infection rates in some neighborhoods east of the Anacostia River rivaling those in sub-Saharan Africa."

During a World AIDS Day interview with ABC News, President Bush called his international program to combat AIDS "one of the most important initiatives of my administration" and praised it as a success. More than 2 million people worldwide have received life-saving antiretroviral treatments since the initiative began in 2003, he said.

He made no mention of the AIDS epidemic raging in his own back yard.

Once again, mum's the word. Perhaps in the absence of frank talk, we could at least help young girls such as Keisha by getting them to serve a few weeks at an AIDS hospice. Careless sex would likely lose its sheen once they realize that their lovers could be the Grim Reaper in disguise.